Gumi Megpoid: Detective of Love
by NeverBeenToChina
Summary: Gumi is going to get to the bottom of the romantic mysteries in the Vocaloid house! Contains LOTS of PikoxMiki, as well as some KaiMei, RinxLen NOT twincest, IrohaxOliver, GumixGumo, NeruxMystery Person! Rated T because of drunken Meiko's language.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so this is my first fic! I'm really nervous I think everyone's going to hate it ; - ; I'd appreciate any pointers on formatting since I'm new to the site, or on the writing in general. Note: I wrote 12 chapters of this before I joined FFN so I'll probably be uploading them all today. Here goes!**

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><p>"Miki wake up! It's Yuuuuukiiiiiiii!"<p>

Miki woke up to a child's voice shrieking in her ears. She pulled the covers over her head and turned over, but Yuki yanked them off again.

"Guess what today is!" Yuki said in a singsong voice.

"What?" Miki grumbled.

"It's your one-day anniversary with Piko!" Yuki giggled.

Suddenly all Miki's memories from yesterday came rushing back to her: the frozen yogurt shop, the walk around town, the bag of cherries Piko had bought for her… and Piko finally asking her to be his girlfriend.

Miki jumped out of bed and started brushing her hair and picking out clothes.

"Tee hee! I knew that would get you out of bed! You two are sooooo in looooove!" Yuki said as she skipped around the room.

Miki stuck a curler in her ahoge to make it extra bouncy and went to her bathroom to brush her teeth with her cherry-flavored toothpaste.

"Yuki, we've only been together one day, I don't think we're in love just yet." Miki smiled.

"Well you are, at least. I read it in your diary." smirked Yuki, holding up a pink-and-blue striped journal.

"How did you get that!" Miki gasped, diving for the little book. Yuki turned out of the way, letting Miki fall to the floor.

"Easy! You keep it in that little crawl space underneath the stairs by Gakupo's room; He told me so!" Yuki held the book over Miki's face and pulled it away when Miki grabbed at it.

"You can get anything out of anyone, can't you?" Miki sighed.

"That's right!" Yuki finally relented and gave Miki the journal.

_Note to self: find a new place to hide diary_.

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><p><strong>Short chapter is short. And if anyone picked up on it, yes, I did rip off 'My Neighbor Totoro' in the first line. XD Ho hum. Next chapter! :D<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Um. I don't have a whole lot to say about this chapter. :/**

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><p>The smells of multiple different breakfast foods wafted into Piko's room, gently waking him. His USB cord tail wagged slowly as he got out of bed and stretched. Normally Piko wouldn't be in such a good mood when he woke up, but knowing that Miki was waiting for him downstairs put a big goofy smile on his face. And it wasn't too bad either that no one could call him a shota anymore.<p>

Since Piko was the only Ki/oon Vocaloid, his room was in the extra wing of the mansion where all the Vocaloids that came from small 'families' lived, like SeeU (who lived in the room next to Piko's) and Bruno and Clara (who lived across the hall). Besides Bruno and Clara, most of the Vocaloids in that wing kept to themselves, not having close family like all the others.

Piko could hear everyone downstairs chatting over all their different breakfasts. He left his room and locked the door (in case Yuki wanted to go looking through his stuff), then went downstairs to join everyone else. On his way to the staircase he ran into Gakupo, who winked at him slyly. _What was that all about?_ Piko sighed and made his way down the stairs. He heard someone clomping down the stairs from the giant Crypton Vocaloid suites at full speed, and before he could even turn completely around Meiko had scooped Piko up in a giant bear hug and was shaking him around like a ragdoll.

"PIIIIKOOO! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND MIKI!" she squealed, squishing Piko's face into her chest, making him blush.

"Th-thank you Meiko! But who told you!" Piko asked, pushing away from Meiko with all his might.

"Well, I heard it from Miku, but I don't know who told her… she has her ways." Meiko explained.

"Okay, thanks. Have you seen Miku recently?"

"I haven't see her come out of her suite yet. But I heard her blaring 'Miki Miki Romantic Night' and 'Piko Piko Legend of the Night', and I saw Yuki and Iroha go in there."

"Great. Just great." Piko muttered. "Could you please not tell anyone else? Miki and I don't want everyone to be bugging us all day."

"Sure!" Meiko winked. She went downstairs to the kitchen, but Piko stuck around a while, deep in thought, twisting his ahoge around his finger.

_That diva probably told everyone already,_ he thought. So much for time alone with his girlfriend. _Girlfriend._ Piko could finally call Miki his girlfriend, and the thought made him grin a dork again. _Maybe today won't be so bad after all._

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><p><strong>Oh Piko :3 Hoping it's not as bad as I think it is… RnR?<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**WARNING: much fluff ahead :3**

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><p>Gumi quietly sipped her tea. It was a typical morning in the Vocaloid mansion; Haku was hung over and passed out on one of the couches, Luka and Gakupo were arguing about something or another, Neru was lying upside down on the couch texting and Rin and Len were flirting and giving each other big googly eyes. Yuki and Gacha were playing videogames in the corner, and Oliver and Iroha were trying (and failing) to get some of Kaito's breakfast ice cream. SeeU and Sonika were chatting amicably over coffee. Meiko was in the kitchen. Everyone else was still upstairs, but then Gumi saw a flash of pink turn the corner and walk into the living room to join the other teens. Gumi jumped up to greet her best friend Miki and to confirm if the rumors were true. But it seemed like everyone else had the same idea, so Gumi ended up in the middle of a huge crowd surrounding Miki.<p>

"Congratulations, Miki!"

"Way to go, kiddo!"

"I called it! I totally called it! Haku, you owe me ten bucks!"

"Miki you two are so kawaii nya!"

"Did you two cover Magnet yet?"

"How about Wonderful Cat Life?"

"Cantarella?"

"Romeo and Cinderella?"

"Kokoro Kiseki?"

Everyone kept pestering Miki with questions until finally she yelled, "Everyone shut up!" and a hush fell on the room. "I'd really like some privacy right now so if you'd please just go back to what you were doing and leave me _the hell alone _that would be great."

Everyone went back to where they were before, but Miki could tell they were still whispering about her. She found Gumi and went to sit next to her.

"So?" Gumi asked.

"So… what?" Miki played dumb.

"So is it true?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Miki giggled.

"Oh come on, just tell me!" Gumi hit Miki lightly on the arm.

"Okay, okay! He took me to a frozen yogurt shop yesterday, and we walked around town and he bought me some cherries at the supermarket, and then he took me back home and asked me to be his girlfriend!"

"And did you say yes?" Gumi questioned urgently.

"No, Gumi, I said no." Miki replied sarcastically. "Of course I said yes!"

"Aww, how romantic!" Gumi sighed.

"But how does everyone know already? I only told Yuki and Iroha!" Miki asked.

"Easy. I told everyone." Miku said, putting down her magazine and looking over. "Almost nothing happens here. And suddenly this comes along, how could I not share it?"

"But I didn't tell you!" Miki yelled.

"Are you really that dumb, Red?" Neru asked with a snarl. "Obviously Iroha and Yuki told her."

"Thank you, Neru!" Miku said with a smile.

"Oh, shut it, Pigtails."

The four girls then heard a strange slurping sound, and turned to find Rin and Len kissing passionately.

"Would you two cut it out!" Miku yelled, throwing her magazine at them.

The couple was about to protest when the sound of someone walking down the stairs interrupted them. Everyone grew silent, and Miki didn't even have to see the person to know who it was.

Piko stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked around, searching for Miki. They stared at each other for a moment, blushing, until Miki said (much too loudly), "Good morning, Piko!"

Miki could feel everyone's eyes on her. Piko gave her a strange, almost hurt look. She jumped up and said, "Oh, screw it!" and ran to Piko, kissing him full on the lips. He was surprised at first, but quickly accepted it and kissed her back, while slowly wrapping his tail around the both of them to bring her closer. Everyone else watching sighed, "Awwwwww…" and even Neru's eyes softened for a moment before she realized that Gumi was looking at her, and she quickly looked down, blushing, and texting furiously to appear busy. _Who could she be texting?_ Gumi wondered. _No one else has their cellphone out… _And then slowly, a smile snaked its way across the green-haired girl's face. _Looks like I found something to do today._

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><p><strong>What's Gumi up to, hmm? :D (it's probably pretty obvious) I guess a better question would be: why is Meiko all pissy?<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**In which Gumi snoops around, and there is chaos.**

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><p>Everyone settled down and went back to where they were. All the teens went to sit around the coffee table in the living room and chat, like every morning.<p>

"Soooo? Tell us the story! How'd it happen?" SeeU asked, eager to know the details. As Miki retold the story to everyone, Gumi watched Neru and studied her intently. Neru was still upside down on the couch beside Len, texting as always. She'd giggle at one text, pout at another, and blush at the next. And still no one else had their phones out. _Unless she's texting one of the older Vocaloids…_ Gumi got up, since she had already heard Miki's story, and walked over to the dining room, where the adults were eating their breakfast. She walked all around the table, trying to be inconspicuous as she looked around at everyone's hands, trying to see if anyone was using their phone. As she got to the end of the table, where Luka was spoon-feeding eggs to Haku, Gumi gave up. Neru wasn't texting anyone in the house. _It could be an UTAU…_ Gumi thought, looking to the slightly smaller mansion across the street. _After breakfast I'll go talk to Teto. Maybe she'll give me some answers._

Gumi walked back over to the group just as Miki was finishing the story.

".. and then he asked me if I would be his girlfriend and, of course, I said yes!" Miki said, giving Piko a little kiss on the cheek, to which he blushed.

"Aww, how cute! You two are a perfect match, although I never would have thought of it myself!" gushed Rion.

"See? I told you, man, if you just went for it, she'd say yes! And what did she do? She said yes!" Len told Piko, thumping him on the back.

"That's how he got me…" Rin sighed dreamily, and Len started kissing her again.

"You have a room for a reason, you know." Neru griped.

"SO! Change of subject: Miku, your Google Chrome commercial was amazing!" said Sonika.

"I wanted to be in it nya!" Iroha whined.

"Me too! I wanted to too!" Yuki shouted from the corner. "Wait… what are we talking about?"

"Yeah, why does Miku get to do all the cool stuff?" Gacha added.

"Hey, hey!" Miki said, "Yuki, Gacha, Iroha, I've told you: due to circumstances beyond our control – "

" – like being a kiss up – " Neru muttered.

" – Miku is now the face of Vocaloid and we have to accept that." Miki finished.

"Well put, Miki." Miku said smugly.

"Besides, being less popular means you have more time to do whatever you want." Lily winked.

"I'm sure it would be best being an Officially Recognized Derivative though, right Neru? You don't have to sing at all! What do you do in your free time?" Gumi asked, phrasing her words carefully.

"None of your beeswax." Neru replied without looking up from her phone.

"EEEEEEEEK!" someone shrieked from the dining room, and everyone turned to see Sweet Ann climbing up on the table.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!" shouted Kiyoteru, as three little creatures ran/slithered out from under the table. Tako Luka and Hachune Miku (who was carrying Larval Rin) were being chased by Shiteyan'yo, causing a commotion. No one had any time to react because they were headed straight for the living room, which was a dead end. Without even thinking, Piko lashed out his tail and wrapped it around one of Shiteyan'yo's ankles, tripping the creature. Tako Luka and Hachune ran cowering to the corner, hiding behind Yuki and Gacha.

"Whoa! Good catch Piko!" Oliver said, as he and Iroha got up to grab the monster.

"Meiko! Where do we put it nya?" Iroha shouted, holding Shiteyan'yo by one of its ankles.

"Put it in Kaito's room." Meiko said dismissively.

"Hey!" Kaito protested through a mouth full of ice cream. "That's not fair!"

"I don't give a shit!" Meiko snapped at him.

There was a moment of silence, before Luka took over and said, "There's a shed out back, lock her in there." Oliver and Iroha left, but not before Miki noticed the way her little sister stared at the boy, and smiled.

Kiyoteru helped Sweet Ann off the table and she immediately ran to the ladies' room to 'freshen up'. The strange turn of events seemed to signify the end of breakfast, and everyone left to get ready for the day's activities. Gumi thought that would be a good opportunity to talk to Miki about the investigation.

Not wanting to interrupt Miki's conversation with Piko, Gumi asked politely, "Could I borrow her for a minute?" He nodded, and before Miki could ask any questions Gumi had pulled her out of her chair and around the corner.

"Gumi, what's – "

"Neru is texting someone all the time. Whoever it is, she has a crush on, if not more. And, isn't a Vocaloid." Gumi explained.

"Ooh, fun!" Miki said excitedly. "What's your plan?"

"Well, first I was going to go talk to Teto. Then maybe ask around here to see if anyone knows anything."

"What if it's a genderbend?"

"Oh, good point! I'll check there too. Just be ready to help in case I need you."

"Got it." Miki winked. "Oh! And before I forget, Iroha definitely has a crush on Oliver."

"Awww!" cooed Miku, startling Gumi and Miki.

"How long have you been standing there!" hissed Miki.

"The whole time." Miku said simply. "But I'll let you guys handle the Neru thing, she hates me and if I get involved I'd only make it worse. Can I help with Iroha and Oliver?"

"Sure, I guess." Gumi shrugged. "We'll need all the help we can get!"

"Yay!" Miku clapped gleefully. "Now I have recording session in an hour so you two work on the Neru thing until I get back and then we can help Iroha!" and with that she flounced off.

"Miki?" Piko asked, poking his head around the corner.

"In a minute!" she winked. "Gotta go. Good luck! And tell Teto I say hi. I haven't seen her in a while…" Miki gave Gumi a hug, then grabbed Piko's hand and tugged him upstairs. Gumi laughed. _They're too cute._ Then her face turned serious as she walked out the door to talk to Teto. _Time to get started_.

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><p><strong>In the next chapter: Gumi talks to Teto! *jazz hands*<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Gumi is an black-and-white movie style detective, and Momo drops the bread! :O**

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><p><em>It was a cold, overcast day. The kind of day that made you lazy and slow, that drives most people inside. But not me. I had a case to solve: the Case of the Mystery Lover. My first suspect was a short woman, red-pink hair in corkscrews on either side of her head. She was a misleading one, she looked 15 when she was really 31. I knocked on the door to her mansion. She opened the door, and before she could say anything, I cut her off. "Detective Megpoid, I'm with the Federal Bureau of Romantic Investigations, a 'detective of love', if you will."<em>

"Gumi, is that you? What's with the getup? And why are you narrating everything?" Teto giggled.

"I'm just trying to set the mood." Gumi said, peeling off her trench coat and putting her hat on the rack by the door. "Do you mind if I ask you some questions?"

"About what?"

"Well, like I said, I'm a detective of love. I'm trying to figure out who it is Neru likes!" Gumi said with a wink.

"Ohh, cool! What do you know so far?" Teto asked.

"Well, this morning she was texting someone constantly, and her reactions led me to believe it was someone she was smitten with." Gumi said, trying to sound official. "But when I looked around the house, I found it was no one who is an official Vocaloid. So I came to you to see if you know anything. If it's an UTAUloid, I thought you would be the person to go to."

"Well, sure! What do you need to know?"

"Great!" Gumi exclaimed, pulling out a little reporter's notebook from her pocket. "Let's get started. Have you ever noticed any of your…" Gumi searched for the right words – "…roommates texting anyone 24/7?"

"Nnnno… Not really. Defoko texts some, but not as much as Neru does." Teto shrugged. Gumi scribbled something in her notebook.

"Do any of them ever disappear without reason, or act strange?"

"No one disappears really. As for acting strange… do you mean stranger than normal?" Teto laughed.

"Ma'am, please, this is serious." Gumi said, holding a stern gaze for a moment, then cracking up, and Teto joined in. After a few minutes they finally wore themselves out, and Teto said, "To answer your question, no, the chaos has remained the same recently." As if on cue, a loud crashing sound came from the back of the house.

"What was that?" Teto shouted behind her.

"I dropped the plates!" Gumi recognized Momo's voice from the Nyan Cat video.

"Be right there!" Teto yelled, then turned to Gumi. "I have to go. Good luck with your investigation!"

"Oh wait! Before you go, I'm supposed to tell you that Miki says hi!" Gumi shouted.

"Tell her I say hi too, and congratulations!" Teto yelled from the back room.

"How do you know, too!" Gumi asked incredulously.

"Miku told me!" Teto said, before asking Momo, "Did any of the bread get dirty?"

Gumi laughed to herself, and then turned to leave, grabbing her coat and hat as she went out the door. _So it's not an UTAUloid…_ Gumi thought, as she crossed the possibility off of her list. _Next are the genderbends… oy vey._

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><p><strong>So I actually don't know a lot about UTAUs, I just threw in the names of the three that I knew of and tried to seem as legit as possible. fail**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay this entire chapter is PikoxMiki fluff. (I'm sorry I just love this pairing so much! :3) and it's fun writing fluff anyway XD**

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><p>Piko was lying upside down on Miki's bed, his head hanging off the edge. Miki was leaning against the side. Neither of them were doing much of anything.<p>

"What do you want to do?" Piko asked, staring into oblivion.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Miki said, reading a magazine.

"I don't know." Piko replied. "There's nothing to do. Everyone left!"

"It's nice to finally be alone though." Miki said sweetly, kissing Piko on the nose.

"Yeah." He sighed, turning over. "Whatcha reading?"

"I don't even know. Miku was reading it earlier, before she threw it at Rin and Len." Miki laughed to herself, throwing the magazine aside, and moving up to the bed to join her boyfriend. They lay side by side, staring at Miki's light blue ceiling, dotted with those little glow-in-the-dark stars.

"Hey, I have a question," Piko said, slightly hesitant, "why do you like space so much?"

"Um… it's a long story." Miki explained sheepishly.

"We have time." Piko said with a smile.

"Okay, I guess." Miki sat up. "It's just… Kiyoteru always nagged me, and Yuki needed constant care, and then Iroha too when she was released… plus I had to deal with Miku being a diva and Rin and Len being all over each other, Neru being a grouch and… I felt like space was an empty place where I could have some peace and quiet. Where I could be alone."

Piko sat up too now. He thought it would just be a simple story of childhood fascination. But now he realized it was something deeper than that, and he wanted to be there for Miki.

"That changed when I met Gumi. We were instant friends. She was someone who I could trust to be there, but not crowd and nag and whine like everyone else. She's like my spaceship. Even if I'm out there on my own, I'm still tethered to her, and if I need to talk or to be with someone I can always turn to her."

Piko knew it was completely unfair, but though his girlfriend was bearing her soul right beside him, he felt a twinge of jealousy for the green-haired girl.

"Well, what about me?" he asked, trying not to sound ticked.

"Hmm… I didn't even really think about that until now. But only because until now I didn't want to get my hopes up!" Miki said quickly, trying to cover up her obvious mistake. She thought about it for a minute, and then said, "I guess you're like the stars. At first you were there, but you were so distant I didn't dare trying to reach because I knew I'd just fall flat on my face. But you were still there, in the corner of my eyes, and though I didn't know it, I was still watching you, observing that unique way you twinkled. Slowly, with Gumi's help and advice of course, I got closer to you, and before I knew it, I was up in the stars with you. And I look down, to where I was before, and I have an entirely new perspective of it all. I feel like I can deal with Neru's constant insults, Miku lording it over everyone else… I can handle Yuki and Iroha now, and I – " she blushed and looked away from him, " – I understand where Rin and Len are coming from." She sighed and said with an air of finality, "and that's the end of my story. Pretty dumb, right?"

She smiled at Piko shyly, a smile that made his heart beat ten times faster.

"Nope," he said, and without giving her any time to reply, he kissed her, and they fell back onto the bed together. Then, without really thinking, Piko rolled over so that we was on top of Miki, pinning her arms to the bed and tying her legs with his tail.

"What are you going to do?" Miki asked softly.

"I'm going to do…" Piko leaned in to kiss her again, but then yelled, "this!" and started tickling Miki. She laughed and tried to pull away, but with her legs tied she couldn't move much. So she grabbed a pillow from behind her and whacked Piko in the face. He was stunned and loosened his hold on her legs for a moment, giving her the window she needed to push him off the bed and then tackle him.

"You are so – Mffph!" Piko's words were cut off by Miki's kiss. Using this as an opportunity, he slowly inched his hand over to where Miki had dropped her pillow, then hit her in the head with it. She jumped up and grabbed another pillow. They spent the next ten minutes pillowfighting, jumping off furniture and making a mess of Miki's room. Exhausted, they finally collapsed back on the bed, surrounded by the debris of their epic battle.

"Piko?" Miki asked quietly.

"Yes?"

"…What about me?"

"What about you what?" he laughed.

"If you're like the stars to me… what am I like to you?" She asked, turning to look at him.

"Well…" his heart was racing now, and those big, beautiful ruby eyes weren't helping in the slightest. "Everything." He said simply.

"Everything?" she asked, sounding slightly disappointed.

"You're my everything." He said powerfully, without looking away from her for a second. "Miki, I've loved you ever since I was released. The day I arrived here, everything seemed so strange and uninviting, and no one would pay me any mind, until you walked in. You just… everything about you, I fell in love with. You were my first friend, and you meant everything to me. You still do, and you always will." He clasped her hands. "I know it's not some big elaborate metaphor, but it's the truth. You are the world to me, Miki." And he kissed her again, but this time with more passion and feeling then ever before. They lay there, in each other's embrace, for what seemed like an eternity.

Until they heard a knock on the door. _Oh, crap._

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><p><strong>Who is at the door? :O<strong>

**Did you like the fluff? I liked the fluff. Very much :3 FLUFF IS MY FAVORITE THING. /raging fangirl**


	7. Chapter 7

**Guess who it is? :3**

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><p>Startled, Miki jumped up to get the door.<p>

"Miiikiiii I want to talk to you nya." Iroha whined as she walked in, then stopped short when she saw Piko.

"Piko? What nyare you doing in here?" Iroha asked, suspicious.

"Nothing!" Piko and Miki said at the same time, both blushing.

"Look, I don't have the time for you two to act all kawaii. It's a nya-mergency!" Iroha said loudly, waving her arms.

"It's okay. I have stuff to do anyway," Piko said, getting off the bed.

"See you later!" Miki said cheerfully, giving him a goodbye kiss as he walked out the door.

"Why was he in here nya?" Iroha asked again.

"No reason."

"But Kiyoteru said – "

"I know what Kiyoteru said!" Miki yelled, exasperated. Iroha shrunk back a little bit.

"I'm sorry I yelled." Miki sighed, patting Iroha on the head. "Now what was it you wanted to talk about?"

Iroha took a seat on the bed. "It… it's about… about Oliver nya." The girl stammered.

_I knew it!_ Miki thought to herself. "What about him?" she asked sweetly.

"I think I might sorta kinda like him nya little bit." Iroha said, embarrassed.

"Well what's the problem then?"

"I don't know how to act or what to say nyaround him… can you help me nya?" Iroha asked, flashing big doe eyes at Miki.

"Of course I – " Miki remembered that Miku and Gumi were supposed to be in on this too. " – I mean, let's wait until Miku and Gumi get home, I know they'll have some great advice for you!"

"That doesn't make much sense nya, you're the only one of them that has a boyfriend…" Iroha speculated.

"Just trust me!" Miki said, shooing Iroha out the door. "They gave me tons of advice on how to talk to Piko and look where we are now!"

"But I wanted – " Iroha began to say, but Miki closed the door on her. She felt bad, but she needed a moment to herself to think about what Piko had told her. She turned off the lights and lay down on the bed, tightly clutching a pillow and staring at her glow-in-the-dark sky. _You are the world to me…_ His words echoed in Miki's mind, making her smile. _The pillow still smells like mint…_ she inhaled deeply, and sighed. _My star…_

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><p><strong>Another short chapter. I had lots of fun writing in all the 'nyas' XD<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**In which Piko and Gumi throw insults at each other**

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><p>Gumi came inside out of the howling winds and went to her room. On the way to her room she passed Piko.<p>

"Hey there, Spaceship!" He waved.

"Are you calling me fat?" Gumi gave the silver-haired boy a quizzical look.

"No, no! It was just… nothing. Just something Miki said." He started gazing into space, no doubt daydreaming about Miki.

"…No wonder you two are together. You're both really weird."

"You're one to talk, Goggles!" he countered.

"USB!"

"Underboob!"

"Oh, that's low!" Gumi hissed. "Besides, Gakupo took away all of my V3 wardrobe."

"He would." Piko laughed. Though Gakupo was often considered pervy and creepy, those who knew him well knew that he was very caring, both of his girlfriend, Luka, and his younger siblings, Gumi, Lily, and Gacha.

All of the tension having faded, they bid each other goodbye and Gumi went to her room. She went to her desk and crossed off a bunch of names on a paper.

"Not a Vocaloid, not an UTAU…" she muttered. "Next are the Genderbends."

The Genderbends lived in a mansion next door that was a mirror image of the one the Vocaloids lived in. She didn't know a lot about the Genderbends… she had seen Miku and Mikuo fighting often, and she knew that Rinto and Lenka would come over once a week to play 'spin the bottle' with Rin and Len. And then there was Gumo… Gumi blushed and threw herself onto the bed. She was still untangling her feelings about her genderbend. Though they didn't talk often, when they did Gumi felt completely understood. Although that made sense, Gumo was exactly like her in almost every way apart from gender. But at the same time… he also seemed more reserved than her. His creativity expressed itself in quieter ways. This was a nice contrast to her usual loud, crazy self. If she thought about it…they would make such a great couple…

"But!" Gumi shouted as she hopped off her bed. "This investigation is about Akita Neru and her secret romance with…someone! It takes precedence over any and all other love lives!" and with that Gumi stomped out of her room, across the hall to go get Miki.

When she got to Miki's room, however, she noticed the lights were off. Fearing the worst, Gumi put her ear against the door. Nothing. She breathed a sigh of relief as she opened the door and flicked on the lights.

"Miki! It's time to go interview the genderbends!"

"Do you think Mikoto is a pretty name? Or what about Shou?" Miki asked, lying flat on her bed and staring up at the ceiling.

"W-what? Miki, what's going on?" Gumi sighed, exasperated. Miki promptly sat up.

"Piko said that I was everything to him." Miki stared at Gumi for a moment, then fell back on the bed and squealed into a pillow.

"That's great! But we really have to get this show on the road. Come on, we can go hang out with Kaiko!" Gumi went over and tugged on Miki's hand.

"Why can't you go yourself? Is it because of _himmmm?_" Miki smiled mischievously at her friend.

"No! I mean, yes, but… come _onnn_, I need someone to help me since Miku is sitting this one out… and, why did Piko call me a spaceship?"

"Long story." Miki jumped off the bed and went to the door. "…Well, are you coming?"

The two girls walked up to the Genderbend Mansion. It was always a little disconcerting visiting there, since everything was on the opposite side of where it normally was. Miki, after walking to the wrong side of the door first, rang the bell.

"Who is it?" called a voice from the other side of the door. Miki had only met the genderbends once or twice, so she didn't recognize who the voice belonged to.

"It's SF-A2 Miki and Gumi Megpoid!" Gumi said. The door opened revealing a bored-looking teal-haired boy. "Ah, Mikuo, just the man I was looking for!" Gumi said, sauntering into the house, Miki close behind.

"What do you want me for?" Mikuo mumbled, barely audible.

"Wow, you are so unlike Miku it's shocking!" Gumi patted his shoulder. "Come on, we're going to interview you! It'll be fun!" Suddenly, Gumi became alert and sniffed the air. "How come the air is so clean? Where's Dell?" she turned to Kaiko, who was sipping tea next to Meito.

"I don't know. He left the house right after breakfast and we haven't seen him since."

"Probably ran out of cigarettes and went to buy some more." Luki laughed from the dining room, where he was playing tic-tac-toe with Olivia.

_Hmmm…_ _suspicious._ Gumi thought. She filed the factoid away in her brain for later and pushed Mikuo towards the little sitting room by the base of the stairs. She began to explain the situation to him.

"Okay, so we're trying to figure out who Neru is texting all the time, because we think it's someone that she's dating secretly,"

"Uh, Gumi…" Miki said quietly.

"and I was really bored today and I needed something to do, so I went to Teto but she said it wasn't and UTAU,"

"Gumi!" Miki said, louder this time, but she still went unheard.

"so we came here because we thought maybe it was you."

"_Gumi!"_ Miki shouted, just as Gumi turned around to see Gumo's face, only inches from hers.

"Hey, there, Gumi! Haven't seen you in a while." Gumo stepped back slightly to dissolve the awkwardness.

"Hehe, uh, yeah, it's great to see you too!" Gumi was blushing like mad but tried to carry on the conversation while Miki fangirled in the background and Mikuo stood there, confused.

"What're you up too? Some evil scheme no doubt?" Gumo asked her teasingly.

"Yeah we're… we're just trying to figure out who Neru's secret mystery lover is."

"You'll never change, Gumi." he gave her a hug, which made Gumi's face even redder, and then quickly said to Miki, "Congratulations, by the way, you and Piko make a really cute couple." Then he left. Gumi was still standing there like a statue, a statue with a face as red as her goggles.

"Gumi, snap out of it! We have an interview to conduct, remember?" Miki said, snapping her fingers in front of her friend's blank stare. Gumi shook her head to clear it.

"Uh… yeah. Mikuo, have a seat."

"Look, I know you probably won't believe me, but it's not me. Neru hates Miku, remember?" Mikuo explained.

"Yeah, but you are the opposite of her, just like Neru. It would make sense…" Miki started to say, but she trailed off.

"Here, look at my phone. I haven't sent a text in three days, and the last one I sent was to SeeWoo reminding him to get more spring onions." He said, handing his phone over to Gumi. She scrolled through the messages a bit, before sighing.

"It checks out." She scribbled something in her reporter's notebook. "Have you seen anyone else texting an abnormal amount?" she asked.

"Well Meito and Kaiko are texting each other a lot – "

"Wait, are they going out or something?" Miki interrupted.

"Yeah, I think so, although I haven't really asked." Mikuo said.

"Then how come Kaito and Meiko aren't together?"

"We are independent beings, you know." Mikuo said, exasperated at having to explain this concept again. "We are not tethered to our counterparts. Like me and Miku. We're complete opposites. And like how Gumi is crazy while Gumo's mostly sane."

"Right. Sorry." Miki apologized. "But… it's still really weird, right?"

"Can we get back on track?" Gumi asked impatiently, hiding her face. "Has anyone been acting differently than normal as of late?"

"Nope. Everyone has been acting normal. Except… Nero has been really pissed lately."

Gumi wrote a couple more lines then flipped her notebook closed.

"Thank you for your time, Mikuo. Please keep us informed if any of this information changes." She left the room with Miki, lost in thought. _Could Neru be dating her own genderbend? Nothing's impossible…_

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><p><strong>Underboob! I liked writing that part. XD<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Hm. I don't like this chapter that much. I wasn't really sure where I was going with it… ah well.**

* * *

><p>As soon as they left the house, Miki burst out laughing and Gumi hung her head.<p>

"You should have... seen your face... when you were talking to him!" Miki said in between fits of laughter.

"Shut up, okay! You said some pretty stupid things to Piko before you got together! It happens to everyone." Gumi said, flustered.

"But it's so funny! Because normally you know exactly what to say, but when you're around him you freeze up and your mind stops working. Just think of him as... Just imagine you're talking to Len or Mikuo or something!"

"But then I'll treat him like them! There's just... No one quite like him." Gumi sighed.

"You'll get there, girl." Miki gave her friend a supportive pat on the back, just as a limousine pulled up in front of their house. "Looks like Miku's back. Let's take a break from the Neru investigation and work some magic on Iroha and Oliver." Gumi smiled weakly and made her way over to the pigtailed popstar.

"Hey, girls! How's the Neru case going?" Miku asked as she stepped out of the car decked in shopping bags.

"Not an UTAU, not Mikuo." Gumi said matter-of-factly. "It might be Nero, Mikuo said he was acting strange."

"Huh. Doesn't seem like a good fit to me." Miku said after thinking for a moment.

"Well we should still look into it." Miki said. "But right now we need to focus on Iroha, who, by the way, admitted to me herself that she _does_ in fact have a crush on Oliver."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Gumi asked, slightly annoyed.

"Because we were talking about – " Miki began to say, but Gumi cut her off.

"Right, right, right." Miku knew what was going on but didn't know who the boy in question was so she decided to leave it alone.

"Okay, so what's our game plan?" Miku asked as the three girls turned to walk inside.

"I think we should work on Iroha first because she's the only one we know for sure has feelings for the other." Miki said.

"But shouldn't we find out if Oliver would return those feelings? Otherwise we're wasting our time." Gumi asked.

"I'm gonna agree with Gumi." Miku said. "It'll be easy to just give Iroha some pointers as soon as we know for sure." By this time they were on the top floor, where the seven Crypton Vocaloids lived in their giant suites. Naturally, Miku's was right in the center. As they walked down the hallway a scarlet door opened and Meiko stumbled out, obviously having drunk a lot.

"Outta m'way, blue haired bitch." Meiko shoved Miku, causing her to drop all her bags.

"What the hell was _that_, Meiko!"

"Why don'tcha ask ya _boyfriend_." Meiko sneered, and headed for the stairs. Before she made her way down, she turned and said to Miki, "You too, Spacefreak. Stay th' _fuck_ away from him!"

"She must be really drunk. I don't have a boyfriend!" Miku said, going to pick up her bags. Gumi and Miki went to help her.

"What if she was talking about shipping?" Gumi asked. She knew she was touching on a tender subject, but Meiko was one of those people you had to keep happy or it'd be hell for everyone else. Shipping was a widely feared matter in the Vocaloid household. It was known to cause riffs in friendships and romantic relationships alike. Gakupo and Luka almost broke up once because of the GakupoxKaito ship. In fact, the only good shipping had ever done was to bring Rin and Len closer, and that had just made everyone else afraid to look around corners or in closets.

"I don't think so. Meiko's one of the oldest Vocaloids, she should know by now not to take shipping seriously." Miku guessed. They set the bags down on the side of Miku's room, then flopped down in the teal beanbag chairs on the floor to make a plan.

"So… how are we going to get little Ollie to spill the beans?" Miku asked.

"Can we threaten to torture his stupid bird? It always nests in my hair." complained Miki.

"No because then Luka might yell at us or something. Why don't we just ask him if he likes anyone?" Miku reasoned.

"That'll be way to obvious, he'll see it coming from a mile away and dodge the question. I think we should trick it out of him." Gumi said with a devious smile.

"And how would we do that?" Miki questioned, intrigued by the idea.

"We would just sit nearby him and talk about Iroha, then see if he reacts. If he does, then we'll know!"

"What if he knows what we're doing and keeps himself from saying anything?" Miku asked.

"Miku, come on, you're giving him too much credit. He's a _guy_; he won't be able to hide his feelings for that long." Gumi explained.

"What if we talk about Iroha possibly crushing on someone else? Then he'll get all defensive." Miki added.

"Perfect! Now what Iroha ships are out there?"

"Let's go look online!" Miku exclaimed, jumping off the beanbag chair and running over to her fancy white Macintosh computer. Miki and Gumi followed her.

"Erm… Miki, you may want to look away," Miku said, as pictures of Miki's boyfriend and little sister together filled the screen.

Miki's eyes widened. "I… that… uh… scroll down if you would," she stuttered, and Miku happily obliged. "What about Lily?"

"Works for me!" Gumi said happily. Miku nodded. And so the trio went downstairs to find Oliver and set their plan in motion. They found Oliver playing video games in the living room and sat down on the couch where everyone had been sitting earlier.

"So, have you heard about Iroha's new crush?" Miku whispered audibly.

"No, who is it?" Gumi asked.

"It's Lily!" Miki exclaimed.

"Really? Oh, they'd be so cute together!"

"I know, right?" Miku glanced over to Oliver to see him squirming a little bit. _Jackpot._

"We should set them up on a date!" Gumi gushed.

"No, that'd be way too embarrassing for our poor little kitty." Giggled Miki. Just then, Oliver stomped out of the room in a huff.

Miku grinned. "Girls, I think we have our answer."

* * *

><p><strong>I like the idea that James sits in Miki's ahoge and it annoys the crap out of her. XD<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Piko's back!**

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><p>Piko opened the fridge with a blank expression. After Iroha had kicked him out of Miki's room, he had nothing to do. He pulled out a tub of nutella and scooped out a spoonful, then went into the dining room. There he found a truly rare sight – Len was sitting at the table, but Rin was nowhere to be seen.<p>

"Where's the missus?" he asked, pulling up a chair next to the blonde boy.

"She's in our room getting ready for our date later."

"And by date you mean make out session, right?" Len punched Piko in the arm. "Hey, hey, come on, you know I kid. Where are you two going?"

"I'm gonna take her to the pier. You know, cotton candy, games, holding her when she gets scared on the ferris wheel." Len smiled knowingly at Piko.

"Are you going to do that cliché thing where you win her a giant stuffed animal at the arcade?"

"Of course not!" Len said with contempt. "My Rinny deserves much more than a simpleton's shallow idea of how to show adoration!" Piko rolled his eyes at this, a fact that Len picked up on.

"Hey, just because you and Miki don't share the same passion as Rin and I, doesn't mean you have to whine every time I outshine you." The silver-haired boy merely flicked his tail in anger at the comment, which Len either didn't notice or chose to ignore.

"Speaking of which, where is your beloved?" Len questioned.

"She's plotting with Gumi and Miku. Something to do with Neru, I think." Piko shrugged.

"Seriously? It's your first full day as a couple and you're not hanging out together? They're not talking about Neru, dude, they're talking about _you!_"

"Elaborate."

"Miki is probably blabbering to her friends about how boring you are, and that you don't even care about her!"

"I highly doubt that." Piko sighed. _But it could be true…_

"You need to treat her like the number-one princess in all the world! No pun intended." Len explained. "Have you even said 'I love you' yet?"

"Not exactly…" Piko was confident that because of what he had said to Miki earlier he would be let off the hook for at least a little bit, but Len didn't know about their conversation and facepalmed.

"Stupid newbie!"

"And exactly how many girls have _you_ dated?"

"That's not the point, dummy!" Len yelled, turning red.

"Then what is!"

"She needs proof of your love!"

"I told her she was my everything." Len was shocked into silence, while Piko stood up and left the table. "If that's not treating her like the number-one princess, I don't know what is."

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><p><strong>Idk why I even wrote this chapter. Kind of a filler. : I wanted Piko to eat nutella and argue with Len, and this is spilled out of my brain. Ick.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay this chapter is short, but I _really_ like it. Angsty drunken Meiko anyone? :D**

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><p>Meiko stumbled through the halls of the mansion, going nowhere in particular. She was too busy trying not to puke to watch where she was going, and frequently bumped into walls. <em>It happened again. I got too drunk.<em> She thought to herself as she took another swig from her bottle. _But it's not my fault. It's his. And that bitch Miku. And that other bitch Miki. And that asshole Gakupo, and that stupid shota Len… it's all of them._ And then a strangely familiar voice called to her through the blurry haze.

"You stupid drunkard! You know this is your fault, why can't you take responsibility for anything you do!"

_Because I can't handle all the guilt._

"You're so weak! You're supposed to be the mother figure, but instead you pass it all off to Luka while you go get wonkfaced with Haku. It's not fair to anyone!"

_I know it's not fair, but what am I supposed to do?_

"You're supposed to suck it up! You can't wallow in self pity forever."

_There must be at least one of them who will care enough to pick up the pieces._

"They fake their smiles around you! It's all an act, no one cares about you! You're worthless."

_They all owe their success to me._

"Everyone forgot about you once Miku was released. Face it, your popularity is merely a thing of the past!"

Meiko's head started to throb, and her legs became weaker.

"You're a spineless pathetic fool! Everyone hates you! They can't wait to see the day when you lie dead, all that alcohol in your blood finally taking you out."

Meiko's vision was swimming now. She could feel herself starting to fall, but it all seemed to be in slow motion.

"So keep drinking! You'll be doing us all a favor!"

She hit the floor. The bottle shattered and the scent of alcohol and vomit filled the air. In her last seconds of consciousness, Meiko realized that the voice was Kaito's.

* * *

><p><strong>Please take note that I've never been drunk *coughcoughonlyfifteencough* so this is totally not based off of experience. But this seems sort of what it would be like yes?<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**What happened after Meiko passed out?**

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><p>Luka was the first one at Meiko's side. The brunette was unconscious, lying in a puddle of sake and vomit. Tears filled Luka's eyes, and her voice cracked as she called for help. <em>How could she do this to us again? Why?<em>

Gakupo and Kiyoteru lifted Meiko up and carried her to her room. Lots of others had gathered into a crowd. Lola was holding Meiko's hand the whole way, Leon and Miriam walking close behind her. The first five Vocaloids were very close friends, and they had been together longer than anyone else in the Mansion. What surprised everyone was that Kaito was nowhere to be found.

All around there were hushed conversations among the other Vocaloids.

"What happened this time?"

"Nothing. It's just a part of her she can't get rid of."

"But it's been getting worse."

"What do we do?"

"What _can_ we do?"

Yuki and Gacha had started bawling. Miki tried to calm them down, but to no avail. Gakupo and Kiyoteru returned from Meiko's room, and Luka started sobbing into Gakupo's shoulder. The crowd slowly dissipated, a more sober atmosphere having been cast over the house. Miku, Gumi and Miki trudged back up to Miku's room. Miku flopped onto the bed, Miki and Gumi sitting on either side of her.

"Poor Meiko. I want do something to make her feel better, but I don't know what." Miku cried.

"But what can we do? Even when she's happy, she always ends up going back to this state." Sighed Gumi, hugging her knees.

"I hope this isn't our fault." Miki mumbled. "She was yelling about something earlier. I think she's jealous."

"Of who? You have Piko, and I'm not with anyone! It doesn't add up." Miku said.

"That brings us back to shipping." Gumi mused.

"Oh. Duh! How come I didn't think of this before?" Miku sat up, snapping her fingers. "She's jealous of us because we're both paired with – "

They were interrupted by a muffled crying noise coming from the room next to Miku's. The trio looked at each other and left the room to go see what was going on. They found Kaito crying quietly over a tub of ice cream in his room.

"Kaito? What's wrong?" Miku asked quietly.

"She doesn't even care how much we hurt." He whispered, without looking up. It was strange to see Kaito, who was normally very happy and fun, crying.

"You mean Meiko?" Gumi ventured.

"Yeah. She always does this, without even taking into consideration how it affects the rest of us! Did you see Luka crying?"

"It's part of her, though."

"Yeah, but it was never as bad as this!" Kaito shouted, standing up. "Doesn't she care about us? About me?" He whispered.

"…I think she cares more than you know." Miki put a hand on Kaito's shoulder. He turned to look at her, tears running down his face.

"Earlier she yelled at me and Miku to stay away from someone. I think she was talking about you." Miki smiled. Kaito was shocked, but slowly a smile started to grow across his face.

"You should go talk to her!" Miku piped up, and Gumi nodded.

Kaito walked out of his room and over to Meiko's, followed by the three girls. Meiko was still passed out on her bed, drooling slightly. Kaito reached down and brushed the bangs off of her face.

"If you don't mind, girls, I think I'll wait for her to wake up on my own."

Miki, Gumi, and Miku left, leaving Kaito alone with Meiko. He kissed her gently on her forehead, but Meiko did nothing but snore loudly. Kaito smiled. _You'll never be worthless to me._

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><p><strong>Urk. I hate the ending of this chapter. Stupid sappy Kaito! I also wanted to carry on the MeikoKaito storyline a bit longer but I wasn't sure how to make any of the other characters do anything when they were all so sad, so I ended it. Grr. Even my own characters won't listen to me! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Oh. Em. Gee. PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKE THIS FANFIC. O.O and I got reviews! In response to pinkalicious101, I'm not planning on pairing Miku with anyone, there aren't any Miku ships I like so much... :/**

* * *

><p>Oliver stomped up to his room. <em>Stupid girls… gossiping… it can't be true… can it?<em>

"Hey!" Luka shouted at him. "Keep it down, Meiko is extremely drunk!"

"Keep it down yourself!" he yelled back, slamming his door so hard it made the display of nautical knots (**lol**) clatter to the floor. Oliver pulled his sailor's hat off and tossed it nowhere in particular, and then flopped down on the bed.

"Stupid Meiko. Stupid Miki, stupid Gumi, stupid Miku, stupid Luka! Stupid…" He left off, willing himself not to say the name. _Stupid Lily._

Oliver got up and snapped his iPod into the anchor-shaped speaker on his bedside table. Shuffle must've hated him, because it began playing Iroha's 'HEART'. He sighed.

"It would make sense… Lily's fun and exciting and hilarious, she's really pretty and…" he carefully touched the bandages on the left side of his face, "she has two eyes." James, Oliver's loyal pet bird, flitted over to his shoulder.

"What do you think about it, James?" But as usual, James said nothing, only stared. Oliver sighed. "I just don't know what to do." And then he had an idea. He knew exactly who to talk to.

"Len! I need your help!" Oliver yelled, thundering down the stairs.

"You don't need to yell, Ollie, I'm right here." Len was still waiting for Rin in the dining room. "What is it?"

"I have… um… girl troubles…" Oliver whispered. Len smiled knowingly.

"Have a seat, young shota."

"Oi! I am not a shota!" Oliver objected.

"Sure, whatever you say…" Len muttered under his breath. "So, who's the lucky lady?"

"It's…" Oliver took a deep breath. "It's Iroha."

"Okay, well this is what I told Piko and it's what I'll tell you." Len grabbed Oliver's shoulders and shook him fiercely with each word.  
>"She needs to know how you feel. Pour out your heart to her like syrup<br>on pancakes. Girls like the the mushy stuff. Tell her that her eyes  
>shine like the moon, or that her smile is the only light in your dark<br>world."  
>Oliver shrugged. "That seems like overkill."<br>Len facepalmed. "Let me show you how it's done." He took Oliver's hand and got down on one knee. Oliver looked around nervously, hoping that no one was nearby to see Len declaring his love.  
>"The sailor loves the sea. It is his joy; it is his torment." Len spoke loudly. It was then that Oliver noticed two sets of feet coming down the stairs, followed by a peach-colored ponytail and a pair of floating speakers.<br>"The sea may some day claim his life, but he cannot and he will not fail to venture into her waters." Oliver heard two female voices, one very familiar, and tried to pull away from Len's iron grip, but to no avail.  
>"He is drawn to her with a force greater than the will of any man. I<br>am your sailor; you are my sea."

There was a loud _thunk_ as Rin's purse hit the floor, as she and Iroha stared, mouths agape.

Len stood up quickly, releasing Oliver's hand. "Rin, I can explain – " he began, but Rin cut him off by whacking him repeatedly with her bag.

"Len, you two timing sleazeball! I hate you! I hope you rot!" she shrieked.

"Oliver nya, how could you?" Iroha asked through tears, although she had no actual reason to feel betrayed.

"How could _I_? How could you!" Oliver shouted back at her over Len's wails. "You like Lily! What do you care who I like, or who likes me?"

"I don't like Lily, I like you, baka-nyan!" Iroha screamed, and then covered her mouth, blushing madly.

"You… you like me?" Oliver asked, blushing as much as she was. She nodded, hiding her face with her hands. Oliver stood there a moment, trying to take in the turn of events, and then started dancing and laughing.

"She likes me, she likes me! La la la la la!" Oliver sang as he took Iroha's hands and spun her around.

Iroha was confused. "So… you like me too nya?" she asked.

"Of course!" Oliver grinned.

Iroha's face lit up suddenly. She squealed, and then tackled Oliver to the ground.

"'!" Iroha shrieked with glee, hugging Oliver so tightly he started to turn blue.

"Iroha… I need… air!" he gasped, and she got off of him.

"Oops. Sorry nya!" she laughed.

"Oliver. Oliver! Tell her the thing about the sailor!" Len whispered, while Rin tugged on his tie harder, trying to choke him.

"I, um… you are the sea?" Oliver said nervously.

"What does that mean nya?"

"N-nothing. Come on, let's go get some ice cream!" Oliver pulled Iroha out the door.

"Can we go to the place that has the chocolate-covered strawberries?" Iroha asked. Just before the door closed, they heard a loud slap.

"Baka Len!"

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><p><strong>Hm. So this chapter came out nicely I think! I wanted to hold out on saying 'baka' because I didn't want to sound like a weeaboo but it was perfect for Iroha at the time so I just went with it. :)<strong>

**And yay more fluff! :D But this time it's OliverxIroha because it's adorkable and stuff. X3 please tell me I'm not the only one who likes this pair?  
><strong>

**Also I really recommend 'HEART' by Iroha (idk who the producer is...) but there's no english subs unfortunately.  
><strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**Short, pointless chapter! :D**

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><p>Meiko woke up, and immediately ran to the bathroom to throw up in the toilet. After washing her mouth out multiple times she went to go back to bed, and that's when she noticed the blue-clad figure asleep in the chair beside it.<p>

"K-Kaito?" At the sound of Meiko's voice he woke up.

"Good afternoon, sleepyhead."

"What are you doing in here, you perv?" she said, trying to cover up how embarrassed she was that he had seen her in such a mess.

"Just checking up on you." Kaito smiled as he stood up. "What was it this time?"

"What do you mean, 'this time'? I always get drunk; you know that better than almost anyone."

"Yeah, but not like this." He gently wrapped his arms around her, which just made her blush.

"Oh, you know… everything." She sighed and hugged him back. "I just always feel so useless. Almost no one uses my voicebank anymore… it's all 'Miku this' and 'Len that'."

"And?" Kaito prompted her. "What else?"

"And I feel so guilty about abandoning everyone… they're supposed to look up to me, especially the young ones, but I just… I go and do stuff like this. And then because of the guilt I get drunker, which makes me guiltier, which makes me drunker. It's a vicious cycle."

"Anything more?"

"And… and…" she began, but then sunk down to the bed, her head in her hands. "I can't say it."

He sat down beside her. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"No, I really can't." she sighed, looking away from him.

"Why not?" he asked slightly hurt. _What can't she tell me?_

"Because I just can't!" Meiko got up to look out the window. In the yard below her room Yuki and Gacha played tag while Luka and Gakupo looked on. The pinkette's unmistakable smile made Meiko envious.

Kaito joined her. "Remember when it was just the five of us?" he sighed. "Just you, me, Leon, Lola and Miriam. No snobby teenagers or whining toddlers, no fanmades, or genderbends, or ships…" Meiko laughed mercilessly.

"Shut up about shipping, okay? I don't want to hear anything about it." She turned away from him, arms crossed.

"Meiko, why can't you tell me what's wrong?"

"Because it's _about you,_ BaKaito!" she turned to yell at him. And then she began to cry. "It's always KaiMiku, KaiMiku, KaiMiku! And when it's not that it's KaiMiki, or Kaikupo, or KaiLen… we were released as a pair! Doesn't that mean anything anymore?"

"That's what this is about?" Kaito laughed, and put a hand on Meiko's shoulder. "Shipping doesn't mean anything. You should know that." He gestured out the window. "Take Luka for example. She knows that Gakupo is paired with Gumi, and Piko, and Len… but she just lets his actions speak for him, not the fanbase." As if it was part of Kaito's explanation, Gakupo picked a flower and placed it in Luka's hair, and in return she gave him a peck on the cheek while Yuki and Gacha shrieked, "Ewww! Cooties!"

"Why are you telling me this?" Meiko asked flatly. The afternoon sun peeked through the shutters and reflected in her brown eyes in a way that Kaito couldn't describe with words. So instead he kissed her. Meiko started blushing furiously.

"Does that answer your question?" Kaito grinned. "Baka Meiko."

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><p><strong>Idk I felt like writing something but it came out rather crappy. This is probably the worst fluff I have ever written :P<strong>

**But I did sort of like where he turned the phrase 'BaKaito' back on Meiko... cute :3**

**I think next chapter we'll get to see Sonika! :D  
><strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry I didn't update sooner I didn't really have access to a computer... :P So here's Sonika! Yay~ She's so cool X3**

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><p>Gumi walked quietly through the Zero-G wing of the mansion At the end of the hallway was a yellow door painted with bright green swirls, and 'SONiKA' written in loopy handwriting. From behind it, Gumi heard music blasting.<p>

"Sonika?"

"Come in!" the Engloid called over the music. Gumi walked in to find Sonika spinning and dancing around the room, singing along to a song called 'Centrifugal Cindi'.

"Hey Gumi! What's up?" Sonika asked turning down the music so they could talk.

"Could I get some advice?" Gumi had thought of Sonika as sort of an older-sister figure (ever since Sonika's release that is) and thought she might have some good ideas.

"About what?" Sonika opened her minifridge and tossed Gumi a carrot, before getting a bottle of lime soda for herself.

"About romance…"

"Ohhhh, I see," Sonika winked. "With who?"

"Gumo." Gumi was kind of tired of covering it up so she just stated it plainly, then took a big bite out of her carrot.

"Aww." Sonika cooed. "So what's the problem?"

"I just don't know if he likes me back."

"That's a pretty common worry. But why are you asking me, I'm not really romantically involved with anyone." Sonika asked, taking a drink from her soda.

Gumi shrugged. "You always have some good thoughts about life in general."

"I'm flattered." Sonika smiled.

"It's just… I always act so weird around him, like I can't control myself. If I'm gonna hide it and not 'fess up I need act normal."

"Well why hide it? If you ever want to be with him he has to know, and you need to tell him."

"Yeah but only if he says it to me first!" Gumi said. "Because it'd be totes embarrassing if I made this big mushy confession and then he doesn't like me back." She sighed.

"What if he's thinking the same exact thing about you right now? Then you two will just keep going around each other in circles and never end up together even if you both want to!" Sonika made little circles with the neck of her soda bottle. "Heartbreak is a part of life, and sometimes you have to just dive in and hope for the best. If he likes you, good! If he doesn't, then cry until you feel better." She patted Gumi on the back.

"It's not that easy though… I just get so nervous around him I'm hardly able to say anything, much less tell him about my undying love for him." Gumi sighed.

"Oh, so it's _undying_ now?" Sonika laughed, earning herself a well-deserved punch in the arm.

"Then you should just keep spending time with him until you're comfortable around him, and then when you feel ready, say something."

"I guess…" Gumi looked down. _Spend some time with him… it'd be easier to sprout wings and fly._

Just then Miki burst into the room.

"Gumi, I have the absolute best idea to find out who Neru's secret love is!"

"Lemme hear it!" Gumi jumped up.

"If she's texting this person all day all night, then wouldn't all the evidence be on her phone? We just need to get it from her and see who she messaged recently!"

Gumi noticed a gaping hole in this plan though. "How are we supposed to get it from her? She never lets it out of her sight."

"Oh yeah. I can't believe I forgot that." Miki facepalmed.

"If I may," Sonika spoke up, "she can't have it with her when it's charging…"

Miki and Gumi looked at each other, grinning from ear to ear. "Sonika, you're a genius!" Gumi shouted, as she and Miki jumped up to hug her.

"Well, I try." Sonika laughed, hugging them back.

"Now we just need to think of a way to know when she's charging it." Miki said, thinking.

"We could try calling and texting her constantly to run down the battery..." Gumi suggested.

"Sounds like a plan!" Miki gave a thumbs up. "And we could ask everyone else to help us!"

"We could get everyone in on this!" Gumi stood up and punched the air. "This could be the greatest thing ever!"

"Let's get started!" and with that the two girls ran out of the room.

Sonika laughed to herself. "Those two will get into so much trouble together."

* * *

><p><strong>So now everyone's going to help out... sounds like a recipe for disaster. XD<strong>


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay. I just want to say that I had SO MUCH fun with this chapter. XD**

* * *

><p><strong>Recipients: heterochromaniac, frenchbreadswag76, ionlyspeakkonglish, worldismine, iwanttoeatatuna, notashota24, xroudororax, sailorboy99, hellokittygurl, dazsiscold, forsakessake, lilyistheeffingbest63, culater, iamthesleepingrabbit, centrifugalspirals, vocaloidmew, wenospeakamericano, spanishrose788, vy1mizki, vy2yuuma, dancingsamurai91, <strong>icemountainteru, <strong> swedishdiva, singingfrankenstein, firstthingsfirst, vocamomma, vocaloidmiriam, primadonna566, ladiesandfinewine, ariaontheplanetes, anotherpurplebunny, dinosaursaresocool, applesapplesapples, thehiddenvocaloid, whoisluna thenyanyanyanner, iamthedefault, lenkagamineismineforever, awesomefailure, bluegirl77, drunkgenderbend, omnomnom-spring-onions, theboywithpinkhair, sexyandkorean, oliviaandjamie, genderbendofthegenderbend, aboywithhairclips, notgonnaquitsoshutup**

**Cc: spacedout1234, killerorangelady**

**Subject: Operation: Kill Neru's Phone!**

**Message:**

**hello everyone! this is gumi and miki with a great idea that we need your help with! as some of you may already know, we are on a mission to find out who neru's secret lover is! our next step of the plan is to sneak into her room while her phone is charging and see who she's been texting. here's where you all come in - we want you to help us kill her phone battery by texting and calling her constantly. we don't care much what you say as long as you say it! and most importantly, have fun with it ;)**

Later...

Neru was laying on her bed texting. She had some random music playing but she wasn't really paying attention to it. Then her phone blinked.

**Text from: Teto**

**hey neru just dropping in to say hiiii~**

**Reply to: Teto**

**hi. now bug off**

**Text from: Teto**

**wow someone's in a bad mood -_-**

**Reply to: Teto**

**what do you want drill-head?**

**Text from: Teto**

**THEY ARE NOT DRILLS**

**who are you texting? :3**

**Reply to: Teto**

**i'm texting you stupid.**

**Text from: Teto**

**i mean besides me duh X3**

**Reply to: Teto**

**none of your beeswax**

After that Neru ignored all of Teto's texts. But then her phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi Neru, it's SeeU!"

"What do you want?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out!"

"No." Neru hung up. But then her phone rang again.

"Hello!"

"Neru? Hey it's Len. Have you seen my watch anywhere?"

"Find it yourself, I'm busy."

"But I just - "

"Leave me alone you idiot!" Neru yelled. Her phone began to buzz and ring constantly.

**Text from: Akikoroid**

**neru i'm sooooo boooooored talk to me**

**Text from: Rin**

**could i borrow $50**

_"Hey it's Piko. When is Haku's birthday?"_

**Text from: Kaiko**

***~*send this to someone you really appreciate*~***

_"NERU IT'S TEI. KEEP AWAY FROM LEN DO YOU HEAR ME? I HAVE A CHAINSAW YOU KNOW"_

_"Neru it's Iroha nya. How do you keep your ponytail so perfect?"_

**Text from: Big Al**

**Neru we almost never talk so hi**

_"Hola chica! Como estas?"_

**Text from: Momo**

**Text from: Sweet Ann**

**For a limited time I'm giving out free autographs - take advantage of this opportunity before it's gone!**

"_Hey Neru, Sonika here! Just wondering if I could borrow your copy of Sakura Taisen book 3?"_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Make it stop make it stop make it stop!" Neru screamed, as her phone began to ring once again, this time with a text from CUL.

**neru you wouldnt mind giving me ur lemon pie recipe would u?**

Neru's hair was flying out of its neat ponytail at random angles. Her eyes were bloodshot and wide and she jumped at the tiniest sounds. "Why is everyone bugging me!" Her phone buzzed again and she was about to hurl it at the wall when she recognized the special ringtone.

"_Su-su-su-su-su-su-su-su-suki daisuki!"_ Rin's voice sang as the screen blinked. Neru instantly picked up.

"Hey, what's up?" her voice had completely changed, from a maniacal shout to a sweet, girlish tone.

"Here's the deal. Some of the Vocaloids are trying to uncover our secret." A low, raspy voice said on the other end. "They're trying to wear down your phone battery so that they can sneak in while you're charging it and find out about us. Here's what you do: clear your history, don't text or call me at all after this, and then wait for your battery die. Then set it up to charge and leave your room."

"Mhmm!" she nodded, acting much more obedient than normal. "How did you find out?"

"They emailed it to me without realizing it was me. Idiots," the voice laughed, and Neru laughed too.

"Okay, got it. So, can we… hang out later?" she asked playfully.

"Definitely. But let's wait for this to blow over first, k?"

"Well duh. See you later!" and she hung up. For a moment she sat there, eyes glazed over, clutching her phone to her chest. Then she went to go delete her history. _You can't get me!_

* * *

><p><strong>So I know everyone probably skipped past all those screen names at the top (which were <em>supposed<em> to be email addresses but then FFN deleted them ; - ;) but whoever can guess at least half of them correctly will get VIRTUAL CAKE AND MY RESPECT. I included _every_ Vocaloid that has been released (yes that includes Engloids, Spanloids, and SeeU, as well as Akikoroid-chan and Luna) as well as some UTAUloids, genderbends and Haku (who doesn't really fit into any of those categories). HAVE FUN~ (please at least try I put lots of time into thinking of those ;A;)  
><strong>

**And one more thing I absolutely LOVE 'I Only Speak Konglish' and I recommend it because it's awesome X3**

**And I forgot to mention last chapter that 'Centrifugal Cindi' is by YouTube username ChaoFreak1 and I recommend that too :)  
><strong>


	17. Chapter 17

**First off I think I'll give the answers to my little puzzle in the last chapter.**

**heterochromaniac - Piko (I tried to make this one hard but I failed ; - ;)  
>frenchbreadswag76 - Teto (Duh.)<br>ionlyspeakkonglish - SeeU (I still love this song :3)  
>worldismine - Miku (Double duh.)<br>iwanttoeatatuna - Luka (Triple duh.)  
>notashota24 - Len (LOL)<br>xroudororax - Rin (only one person got this one... yay I'm clever X3)  
>sailorboy99 - Oliver (Quadruple duh.)<br>hellokittygurl - Iroha (Do I even need to say 'duh' anymore?)  
>dazsiscold - Kaito (:3)<br>forsakessake - Meiko (I had hoped all the 's's would confuse everyone... apparently not :P)  
>lilyistheeffingbest63 – Lily (Duh.)<br>culater - CUL (WORDPLAY GENIUS RIGHT HERE)  
>iamthesleepingrabbit - Rion (Because apparently that's what her name is based on...? According to the Wiki)<br>centrifugalspirals - Sonika (This one was confusing because it's based on my own headcanon for her... XP)  
>vocaloidmew - Mew (Mew isn't very creative XD)<br>wenospeakamericano - Bruno (Technically the song is Italian BUT HERE'S ME NOT CARING XD)  
>spanishrose788 - Clara (Clara is so cool *-*)<br>vy1mizki - Mizki (Mizki isn't creative either.)  
>vy2yuuma - Yuuma (Neither is Yuuma)<br>dancingsamurai91 - Gakupo (Quintuple duh.)  
>icemountainteru - Kiyoteru (Sextuple duh.)<br>swedishdiva – Sweet Ann (In my mind Sweet Ann is a bigger diva than Miku XD)  
>singingfrankenstein – Big Al (Obvious.)<br>firstthingsfirst - Leon (Somewhat obvious...)  
>vocamomma - Lola (Some people thought this was Meiko)<br>vocaloidmiriam - Miriam (Add Miriam to the list of people who aren't creative)  
>primadonna566 - Prima (Because her name was based on that term)<br>ladiesandfinewine - Tonio (Tumblr askblogs will be the death of me)  
>ariaontheplanetes - IA (It's in her name XD)<br>anotherpurplebunny – Yukari (Because her name also means bunny but she and Rion are both purple and both rabbits... weird O.o)  
>dinosaursaresocool - Gacha (Gacha is totally a dorky little kid X3)<br>applesapplesapples - Yuki (GUESS WHO LOVES APPLES)  
>thehiddenvocaloid - Akikoroid-chan (Thinking back I probably should have made it something like 'vocalawsondesu' but that would be to obvious...)<br>whoisluna - Luna (This was a bit confusing to some because I wasn't talking about Luna Amane the UTAU I was talking about some girl who was featured in the same magazine as Lily...?)  
>thenyanyanyanner - Momo (Septuple duh.)<br>iamthedefault - Defoko (I like this one... sorta mysterious)  
>lenkagamineismineforever - Tei (What is subtle)<br>awesomefailure - Haku (Haku is very proud of her origin as a failed Miku)  
>bluegirl77 - Kaiko (This time <em>I<em> wasn't feeling very creative XD)  
>drunkgenderbend - Meito (Some people thought this might be Haku's genderbend Dell but (in this story anyway) Meito is an alcoholic like Meiko, Dell is a smoker.)<br>omnomnomspringonions - Mikuo (ARGH I wanted so bad just to say 'leeks' but I wanted to be as accurate as possible ; - ;)  
>theboywithpinkhair - Luki (See Kaiko)<br>sexyandkorean - SeeWoo (I AM CALLING HIM SEEWOO FOREVER AND NOTHING WILL CHANGE THAT. It sounds much cuter than 'Usee' X3)  
>oliviaandjamie – Olivia (I love Olivia :3)<br>genderbendofthegenderbend - Lenka (Because technically Len was a genderbend of Rin in the first place)  
>aboywithhairclips - Rinto (Still not super creative here)<br>notgonnaquitsoshutup - Dell (See Meito)**

**And the winners, who receive *VIRTUAL CAKE* and my respect are... SIMBY (45/48, since you got Dell and Meito each half right I guess...) AND TEN-FACED (38.5/48, since you guessed Luna Amane and I didn't make it clear that counts as half, and for some reason you skipped Momo and Defoko...)! CONGRATULATIONS HERE'S YOUR CAKE *gives* AND MY RESPECT *tips imaginary hat***

**Now let's see what Gumi and Miki are up to...**

* * *

><p>The garden outside the Officially Recognized Derivatives' little guest house was completely silent. Shadows quietly crept up and across the walls, and girl in a ninja suit slipped through the open door. She clicked a button on her goggles and the night vision ability activated, then she whispered into her hidden headpiece.<p>

"Agent Cherry, come in, this is Agent Carrot. Come in Agent Cherry."

The lights in the room flicked on and Miki walked in, munching on a cookie.

"What is it? Look, Haku made cookies!"

"Miki! You have to act like a ninja!" Gumi whined.

"Why? Neru's out and Haku is still hungover at the mansion, we can just walk in and take what we want." Miki tempted Gumi with a cookie. "Come on, you know you want one…"

After thinking, Gumi grabbed the cookie. "Fine. Now where is Neru's room?"

Miki pulled out a blueprint of the house. "Down that hall, next to Sakine's."

"Let's go!" Gumi pulled a hood over her head and cartwheeled down the hall, and Miki sighed and followed her. They stopped in front of a dark yellow door, with a sign on it that read, 'Go ahead, come in my room. I've been wanting to test out my new axe.' Gumi tested the knob. It was unlocked. They quietly went into the dark room and Miki flipped the light switch. And their mouths fell open.

Neru's room was painted the same color as her door, and hung with posters of all the Vocaloids, especially Miku. Laid out on her bed was a frilly sundress and hat, which seemed much more like something Rin or Miku would wear. There were stacks of romance novels and shoujo mangas on her bedside table and above her bed was her name in big cursive letters.

"Oh my god. Neru is a girl. An actual _girl_." Miki said, dumbfounded.

Gumi picked up a framed photo of Neru and what Gumi assumed to be her mystery boyfriend, in which Neru was smiling sweetly and clinging to the boy's arm. But…

"That's weird, she scribbled out his face." Gumi held the frame out for Miki to see.

"Maybe they got in a fight?" Miki suggested. "Come on, Agent Carrot, we've got a mystery to solve."

Gumi shook her head to clear it. "Right."

The one thing that was congruous with what they thought Neru's room would be like was her phone charger. It was really more like a pedestal – complete with a fancy red pillow with gold tassels, a glass case, and a plaque that said, 'Neru's most prized possession'. And beneath the glass was the phone.

On the screen it displayed a battery with the words '34% charged' blinking inside it. Miki carefully lifted the glass case while Gumi removed the phone from the charger and replaced it with her own, Indiana Jones-style. They breathed a sigh of relief when no boulders started chasing after them, then turned to the phone. It was one of those ones where the keyboard flips out, and it was a bright yellow color. Gumi navigated to 'Contacts' to see if she had anyone labeled as 'Boyfriend' like some girls did, but they were all either a person's name or 'Idiot'. They looked at 'Recent Calls' but no one had called her – no surprise there. Then they went to 'Texts' – and their mouths fell open again.

Neru had no texts. None. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

"_How the hell is that possible!_" Gumi yelled. Miki was just speechless. Gumi collapsed on the bed, her head in her hands. "It's like… it's like she knew. The erased messages, the scratched out face – she knew we were coming."

"Well, that was a waste of a ninja suit." Miki peeled off her hood and sat down next to Gumi. "What do we do now?"

"I don't know."

The front door opened, and the two girls panicked.

"We need to get out of here!" Gumi pulled her hood on and slipped the yellow phone back into its protective display. Miki ran over to the window and tried to open it.

"It won't budge!" she gasped after several attempts. Gumi ran over and together they opened the window with a loud _bang_. The girls jumped and gracefully landed below the windowsill, just as Neru opened the door to her room.

"Huh, that's weird, the window is open." Miki and Gumi looked at each other, worried that their cover might be blown.

"Maybe Hachune opened it." Neru speculated lazily as she slammed the window closed. The two ninjas breathed a sigh of relief and tiptoed into the garden. As they did, Neru caught a glimpse of them out of the corner of her eye and watched as they somersaulted away. She chuckled.

_Try to figure it out now, Detective Megpoid._

* * *

><p><strong>Who told Neru about the break in? How did Haku make cookies if she was drunk? WHEN WILL THERE BE MORE FLUFF? All these questions and more will be answered... sometime before the story ends XD<strong>

**And ZOMG NERU IS A GIRL! Idk I felt like maybe Neru was hiding a secret admiration towards everyloid (esp. Miku) and I like the idea that she acts sweet and girly around the mystery boy but tsun to everyone else...? RnR please!  
><strong>

**And now for my list of songs that should be made into FFs (but I'm not skilled enough to make them myself OTL****)**

**Poem of A Thousand Years (SeeU) - such a beautiful song ; - ;  
>Secret Time After School (All V2 Female Japaloids except VY1) - so much potential for shipping it makes my head spin XD<br>Calalini (Kaai Yuki) - I love this song so much it's so sad and haunting etc. but I couldn't pull off the angst not to mention how horrible all the hallucinations sound  
>**coughcoughsuggestionscough**<br>**

** Also there's a video on YouTube (reprinted from NicoNico) that features ALL THE VOCALOIDS singing Bad Apple ... even though it wasn't edited much afterward it's still pretty epic IMO.  
><strong>


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry I took so long to upload, I have five different fics I'm writing and I had no ideas OTL anyway here come the genderbends (again)!**

* * *

><p>The front door burst open.<p>

"Heyyy er'body! How y'all doin'?" slurred Meito as he sauntered into the mansion, followed by Kaiko, Mikuo, Luki, Gumo, Rinto and Lenka.

"Sorry about him," Kaiko apologized, "he found Haku's secret stash in our garden."

"Genderbends in da house!" the brunette shouted and threw his hands in the air.

"You're an idiot." Mikuo commented, and sat down next to SeeU, who blushed. Mikuo didn't notice.

"Wellllll at least I'm not… a stupid face!" Meito said a little too loudly, while Kaiko led him to a chair.

Meanwhile Luka ran up and hugged her genderbend. "Lukiii! It's so great to see you, it's been a while!" she shouted as she shook him around.

"Luka… I can't breathe…" he gasped and Rinto and Gumo helped him pull free of the tuna-lover.

"Eheheh! Sorry…" she said sheepishly. The two pinkettes went to sit down in the dining room. Rinto and Lenka made their way over to there counterparts, who were sitting on the couch. Rin was ignoring Len's attempts to get her to talk to him.

"What's wrong?" Lenka asked Rin sympathetically.

"He confessed his love to someone else." Said Rin angrily.

"Aww, who?"

"Oliver." Rin spat. There was a pause, and then Lenka stomped over to Len and slapped him. Rinto burst out laughing.

"You… confessed your love… to Oliver!" he said between fits of laughter.

"I-it's not like that!" Len stumbled over his words. "Oliver was asking for help talking to Iroha and I just gave him examples of what he could say!"

"Wait wait wait – " Lenka held her hands up. "Oliver and Iroha? They're together?"

"As of this afternoon, yes. Thanks to moi!" Len said.

"Oh shut up." Rin whacked his arm. "There was clearly meaning behind those words."

"Maybe I'm just a really good actor!" Len retorted.

"Yeah right!" Lenka laughed. "Remember that play Miku forced us into last year? You couldn't squeeze _any_ emotion into your lines!"

"You're not _helping!_" Len hissed at his genderbend.

"Don't worry; at least it can't get any worse!" Rinto patted his shoulder.

While the four Kagamines argued Gumo came and sat down in a chair next to Gumi, who was reading.

"Twice in one day? I never see you this often, Gumi!" he said with a smile. She blushed a little bit as she looked up.

"Yeah. It's nice," she said, then went back to reading her book.

There was a slightly awkward pause; then Gumi spoke up again. "How has your day been?"

"Pretty good, I got bored after you left so I pulled up some carrots. But enough about me; how has your investigation been going thus far?"

Gumi looked around to make sure Neru was no where within earshot, and then beckoned him closer and whispered, "Miki and I snuck into her room to check her phone, but she had deleted her texting history. I think someone tipped her off that we were coming!"

Just then Kaito and Meiko came down the stairs.

"Hey, look who's feeling better everyone!" Kaito said, and Meiko gave a lazy wave with the hand that wasn't holding an ice pack to her forehead.

"Kaikooo! There you are!" Meito yelled and ran up to Kaito, planting a kiss on his lips.

Kaito blushed and pushed Meito off him. "How drunk are you? I'm _Kaito_."

The whole room burst out laughing. Meiko slapped Meito half-heartedly. "I don't care how drunk you are, bro," she mumbled, "no one is kissing Kaito but me!"

"Wait, _what?_" Kaiko asked as she walked into the room. Everyone started clapping, cheering and whistling, except Haku, who was still too hungover to understand what was going on.

Gumi blew a lock of hair out of her face. "It seems like everyone is getting together all of a sudden."

"Like who?" Gumo asked.

"Well first it was Piko and Miki, then Oliver and Iroha, and now Meiko and Kaito," she said exasperatedly, allowing herself to feel some jealousy. "All within twenty-four hours of each other."

"Oliver and Iroha? That's a new one!" Gumo laughed, but Gumi just gave him a stare.

"It's weird, because Valentine's day was over a month ago and nothing was happening then, except those two being, you know, the same." Gumi sighed, pointing a thumb at Rin and Len, who had somehow managed to make up and were making out again.

"I guess it just took a while for everyone else to catch up." Shrugged Gumo.

"That's a nice way of putting it." Gumi smiled wistfully, watching as Yuki, Gacha, Oliver and Iroha tried to force Meiko and Kaito's faces together. The two finally gave in and shared a little kiss, which caused another round of cheers and a fangirlish screech from Miku.

Then Kiyoteru appeared at the top of the stairs, holding a clipboard and pencil, with a serious expression.

"Iroha, Yuki, get off of Kaito and Meiko." the two AHS-loids did as they were told, and although Kiyoteru could not actually tell them what to do, Gacha and Oliver did the same.

Kiyoteru consulted his clipboard, then cleared his throat and said, "Utatane Piko and Oliver, I need to see you in my office."

"Why?" Piko asked.

Kiyoteru's eyes glinted. "Boyfriend lessons."

* * *

><p><strong>What does Kiyoteru have in mind? (I will have so much fun writing the next chapter XD)<br>**

**I feel like this is turning slightly drabble-ish... oh well. XP**

**Also - Are there any Olli-roha shippers out there? They are so cute! :3 I feel like they don't get enough love...  
><strong>


	19. Chapter 19

**This chapter was so much fun to write XD yay for overprotective Kiyoteru...? Anyway here's chapter 19!**

* * *

><p>"Welcome to Being a Boyfriend 101. Sit up and pay attention!" Kiyoteru yelled and smacked his ruler on the desk. Piko winced at the sound and reluctantly sat up, while Oliver just kept dozing, and Piko had to nudge him to get him to wake up.<p>

"Hmm… wha?" he asked sleepily and rubbed his eye, then sat up abruptly when Kiyoteru slammed his hand on the Engloid's desk.

"You're not here to sleep, Oliver, you're here to learn."

"Learn _what_, exactly?" Piko asked pointedly.

"I'm glad you asked, Piko," Kiyoteru said as he walked back to his desk, clearly not glad at all, "You're here to learn how to treat my sisters the right way."

Piko rolled his eyes, and Oliver sighed and leaned his head back.

"Pay attention, you shotas!" Kiyoteru shouted.

"I am not a shota!" the boys yelled back at the same time. Kiyoteru laughed at this.

"Now, let's begin. You two are lucky enough to be dating my two wonderful, charming and beautiful sisters, Miki and Iroha. They, as well as Yuki and Yukari, are far superior to any other Vocaloids, UTAUloids, or fanmades, and you two idiots are lucky to have piqued their interest in the slightest." Oliver raised his hand. "Yes, Oliver?"

"What does 'piqued' mean?"

Kiyoteru facepalmed and Piko headdesked.

"Moving on…" The tall AHSloid sighed, "You have to treat my precious sisters like the gems they are. Today I am going to teach you exactly how to do that."

Piko felt the sudden onset of a headache and rubbed his temples. _This is going to be a very long day._

"Now! Get out a sheet of paper and a pencil!" Kiyoteru instructed as he turned to the blackboard.

Oliver raised his hand again. "Mr. Hiyama, I don't have any paper or a pencil."

"Your lack of preparedness is inexcusable! What if you were on a date with Iroha and you 'didn't have' any money? Hmm?"

"You didn't give us any time to prepare!" Piko said, exasperated.

"Irrelevant! You should always carry a pencil or other writing utensil with you at all times! I do," Kiyoteru said, pointing to his chest pocket, which held not one but five assorted pens and pencils. He took two out and gave one to each of the boys, as well as two blank sheets of paper.

"Now write down the answers to these questions!" he said, and slid one panel of the blackboard to reveal a wall of writing.

"Mr. Hiyama, I can't read Japanese," Oliver said, raising his hand for the third time.

Kiyoteru's shoulders slumped and he sighed again. "Piko, you have good Engrish. Translate for him, will you?"

"Fine," Piko shrugged and took Oliver's paper, rewriting the questions in rough English.

The room was quiet for a little while the two boys wrote out their answers and Kiyoteru read his book. Then Kiyoteru stood up.

"Are you finished?" Piko nodded and turned his paper towards Kiyoteru to prove it, but Oliver was only halfway through and began scribbling madly to catch up.

"I'm almost done I just need five or ten or maybe twenty more minutes!" he said all at once, as he puzzled over question thirty four. "Piko, is that an 'l' or an 'i'?" he pointed to the letter in question.

"That's an 'l'."

"Good, because 'iove' makes no sense!" Oliver laughed, and Kiyoteru and Piko facepalmed/headdesked again.

"Come on, Kiyoteru, you have to at least give me some credit, I'm not as dumb as him!" Piko said, pointing a thumb at Oliver, who had lost focus completely and was trying to balance his pencil on his nose.

"You're an idiot too." Kiyoteru scoffed. "Your answers are proof." He picked up the paper from Piko's desk and began reading. "'Question one: you are going to a restaurant with your girlfriend. What do you do as you approach the table?' You wrote… 'Sit'."

"Isn't that the answer…?" Piko asked quizzically.

"The correct answer is 'Pull out her chair and allow her to sit first'."

"Yeah, Piko!" Oliver laughed and pointed at the silver-haired boy, who grimaced and flicked his tail in anger.

"Not so fast Oliver; what did you write?" Kiyoteru asked and took Oliver's paper and scanned it, and as he kept reading his expression became unreadable.

"What's wrong?" Oliver asked, becoming nervous.

"For question one, you answered, 'twenty-three apples'." Kiyoteru said. "What the hell were you even reading?"

"It's not my fault!" Oliver cried, waving his arms. "Piko has horrible English and awful handwriting!"

"Don't blame this on me!" Piko shouted at the Engloid.

"Everyone calm down!" said Kiyoteru. "Let's move on to dancing lessons."

"Oh no." Piko groaned. "You're joking, right?"

"On your feet!" yelled Kiyoteru. Oliver stood up at once and saluted, while Piko rose lazily. "Since Piko is taller, he'll lead first." Oliver shot a dirty look at Piko, who smirked.

"Now, Piko, take Oliver's right hand in your left." The boys did so uncomfortably, trying to avoid eye contact with each other. "Next, Piko, cup Oliver's shoulder blade in your right hand. And Oliver, put your other hand on Piko's left shoulder."

"I won't ever speak of this if you don't," muttered Piko.

"Deal." Oliver agreed.

"The counts are one, two, three, one, two, three," Kiyoteru explained, "So Piko, as lead, you will step forward with your left foot on one. Then bring your right foot up to meet it, and then to the right, two. Lastly, step back together on three. Oliver, you'll do the opposite of that for now, until it's your turn to lead." They did as instructed, but without much success.

"Stop bonking your knees into mine!" Oliver protested.

"I can't if you don't straighten your posture!" Piko retorted. "I have to stoop down to reach you."

"Piko, your shoelace is – " Kiyoteru began, but before he could finish the two fell to the ground, Piko on top of Oliver.

"Get off me!" Oliver shouted.

"Don't you try to pull that trick on my sisters!" Kiyoteru yelled ask Piko stood up again and helped up Oliver.

"This is completely pointless!" Piko yelled, throwing his arms in the air. "Don't you trust us, at all?"

"I just…" Kiyoteru sat down. "I just don't want to see my girls get hurt."

"Well, neither do we!" Oliver said. "I don't know what I'd do with myself if I hurt Iroha somehow." He thought for a moment. "Probably tell James to peck my eyes out."

Piko sighed. "I hate to agree with Captain Birdbrain here, but he's right. I love Miki more than anything, and I couldn't live with myself if I knew I had made her upset in the slightest."

"I suppose…" Kiyoteru smiled and stood up, "you two are trustworthy."

"So we can go?" Piko asked, already heading for the door.

"Yes. But I've still got my eyes on you…!" he called after them as they ran out of the room. Kiyoteru sighed and collapsed back into his chair. "Why do girls always go for the morons?"

* * *

><p><strong>Captain Birdbrain is Oliver's new nickname XD and actually Piko's Engrish is really good (maybebetterthanluka's *cough* what?) but um I needed something funny to happen lol also I had to look up ballroom dancing to make sure it was accurate and stuff so this is all 100% true according to howcast XD<br>**

**I get the sense that Kiyoteru is super overprotective of his four little sisters (and also the Voiceroids which I just found out are also part of AHS) so I threw in some mushy "I love my sisters" and fluffy "I love Miki/Iroha more than anything!" yayyyyyy :3**


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